10 Things I’m Thankful for in the Emergency Department

1. When the seemingly never-ending shortage of 1-mg vials of Dilaudid is finally over
2. When you bear witness to the undeniable healing power of a sacred, life-saving turkey sandwich
3. When the Physician’s Assistant in Fast-Track insists that the rash is NOT contagious despite his recommendation for the administration of antibiotics for a full 10-day cycle
4. When you serendipitously discover a gait belt just in time for your intoxicated hallway patient to jump out of her stretcher without her hospital-approved, non-skid socks and with the coordination of a drunken toddler
5. When you think a patient has bed bugs but it turns out that he just ate a bunch of chocolate sprinkles in a drug-induced case of the munchies
6. When the Tylenol is ordered rectally but the patient insists he has an allergy to any medication that is non-narcotic
7. When a very opportune pair of hemostats is clamped down on a tube just in time to prevent a bodily fluid from coming in contact with your open mouth
8. When you figure out that your acutely agitated, 99-year old patient’s violent tendencies are pacified only by watching wrestling and you fortuitously discover a TV channel devoted solely to reruns of “WWE Raw”
9. When you realize your patient’s medical knowledge is a tornado of misinformation and you’re able to have a veritable “teaching moment” by drawing anatomically correct pictures in crayon on a paper towel
10. When you’re frantically trying to remember a single shred of information from your “labor and delivery” class and the transport team comes to pick up your excruciatingly pregnant patient and take her to another hospital before your calm patient turns into 2 screaming patients

Happy Thanksgiving to all medical staff and first responders!